If its one thing I admire about Melbourne, its that the city has so much personality – from the people to the sights around it. The people come from all walks of life, differing niches and cultures integrating and jostling for their own personal space. Rockabilly and Corporate side by side, Zipper Pants and 2 foot tall blue mohawks walking through Elizabeth Street at Noon. Indian Emo with dyed red hair listening to their ipod behind a posh 50 year old on the train. They may not always get along, but this is what makes up for their people.
The City architecture lends so much to tell to the viewer – old town houses contrasting in front of the shining corporate windows. Brick and Mortar vs Steel and Glass. I love it, there is so much to explore and to discover. Among the things I have delightfully chronicled was the city’s illegalish artwork – street art.
I’d been thinking.
I do would like a place I can kind of say, ‘I live here.’ but not say that I’m still living under my parent’s roof. The thing is, I wouldn’t know where to start. Well, I do, but I’m paralyzed because I don’t have anyone holding my hand. I can’t help it, its how I am.
If its a process that people have done so before me, I’d like someone to hold my hand, to show me how its done.
I feel like such an idiot, so naive, so sheltered that I can’t do this on my own. I suppose everyone has to take baby steps, but I’m kind of embarrassed of how this is for me. Sure, there are upsides of having a safety net there, but there are things that do frustrate me, the constant head butting. No doubt the frustration will never really go away, as evidenced by my mother calling me at 6 am while I was living in a dorm in Bangkok for a year, to make sure that I was sleeping in my own bed.
I’m sure not everyone wants to hear about my personal life and/or whatever, so I’ll be putting that at the latter end of this entry.
I went raiding again with Raids without Pants, and I think I really am enjoying raiding… well, with these guys anyway. Especially more so when on Mumble and I can hear majority of the guild chatting along telling stories during downtime. This wasn’t something I could have done when I was with on my old ISP, a stupid little webdongle thing (a USB mobile modem thing) which gave me constant lag and was insanely frustrating when it got all PMSy. I couldn’t even speak on Vent or Mumble due to said lag as it would distort and constantly cut off my own voice. Continue reading
Love is a silly little thing, and while I cannot claim to know everything there is about it, this is what I have learned thus far in my 24 years of existence. Some of this is just me rambling on, and some of these are things I have learned from friends.
Love hurts – as cliche this opening might be, its an undeniable fact. You get hurt when you love someone so much that you just cannot explain all this bursting feeling within you. You get hurt even when he says he loves you back. You get hurt when he doesn’t say he loves you.
It inherently hurts, so why do people still pursue love with such passion?
Its dual nature, I suppose, where while it does give you a soul hurt like nothing else, it is still there to elate your heart with nary but a smile.
JM once wrote to me saying, that when he was 25, he finally understood what Love meant. It meant being able to let go of someone you loved if it would make them happier, and if it would make them a better person. I still believe that, despite half of me just wanting to go “MINE!”. But in keeping that person, it no longer becomes love, but possessiveness.
Ben said to me recently that Love has to inspire you, and the person you’re meant to be with has to inspire you. Not necessarily to greatness, but inspire you to be a better person than you were before, it inspire you to love, to care, to be (as painful sounding as this may be) a good person.
I’m pissed off, annoyed, frustrated. I was fine until she brought up something and continued to prod at it after I said, “Can we change the subject?” instead of dropping it completely, she continued on saying that “NORMAL PEOPLE would be able to hold a proper conversation without being all defensive to things that happened in the past.” I’m only defensive because the way you’re talking about me putting my fucking head in the snow shows how retarded I am or something. They started saying things like, if I weren’t cooped up in my room all the time I would be able to converse and interact with them, doing their activities.
Yeah, I’m sorry, but I have no interest in shopping like you do, in football, I get my news and lulz through the internet. This is the way I wind down, this is the way I relax. You say you do my activities to try and know me more? Yeah, you watched Resident Evil 1 with me and told me to never bring me to watch that again. Watchmen with you was just awkward. I feel like banging by head against the keyboard, punching some inanimate object and all their doing with their ganging up on me is shutting me down and off even more instead of you know. COMPLETELY CHANGING THE SUBJECT BECAUSE ANY RATIONAL PERSON WOULD KNOW THAT THE DISCUSSION IS MAKING THEM FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE.
This is a stupid question, I know. But ever wish you could have done something different? If you had taken the other path instead of the one you took? Its frustrating, irritating, and… I sometimes wish I was like Jamie Maddrox, Multiple Man. Able to take all different paths of life and experience them all.
But then again, I would probably get jealous of my dupes or something…
I’m not making sense.
Lately I can’t seem to get around to actually drawing some scenes I have in my head. Continue reading